reciprocity

Actualizing Gratitude

The natural theme of the month of November would be gratitude. Everyone and their dog is stretching their gratitude muscle this month in anticipation of the very American holiday of Thanksgiving.

I think the whole thanksgiving holiday is overplayed.

Thanksgiving was my favorite holiday for many years. The idea of family and friends coming together to celebrate each other and their appreciation for what they’ve been given, all around a beautiful mean—I mean, what’s not to like? But as I became aware that I was sold a false bill of goods, my view of Thanksgiving was forever tainted. There were no pilgrim and Indian kumbaya-style shared feasts. There were Natives living on their land and colonizers who showed up with their entitled white belief that they could have whatever they wanted. Said colonizers then bequeathed the land “America.”

The country we are supposed to be giving thanks for is built upon stolen land, constructed on the backbreaking labor of those stolen from their native land and enslaved.

So, yeah, Thanksgiving is barely palatable to me these days.

Instead, this month I was inspired by the concept of reciprocity. Robin Wall Kimmerer discusses this at length in her beautiful book Braiding Sweetgrass: (Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants. She reminds us that we are part of an ecosystem. Indigenous teachings posit that all parts of that ecosystem are relatives and that humans are not exceptional. To be in a reciprocal relationship with our plant, animal and mineral relatives means we are an equal part of the ecosystem.

How do we do that, exactly? Gratitude is the opening, but it is not all. To be in reciprocal relationship is more than gratitude lists. I think of this as gratitude actualized. Kimmerer says:

“We are showered every day with gifts, but they are not meant for us to keep. Their life is in their movement, the inhale and the exhale of our shared breath. Our work and our joy is to pass along the gift and to trust that what we put out into the universe will always come back.”

This month we’ll lean into this cyclical relationship, through our mindfulness practices, creativity practices and journaling. Exercising the act of thanksgiving is important, and being in an abundant relationship with our world is what makes us good relations.

With thanks and gratitude,

SRB